Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

mikey is cute

Sex vagina. lol.

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

why do asprins work? Because they're white

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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