hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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