Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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How you know when dislextic

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops