two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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