What comes after 69? mouthwash

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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robin, get in the car.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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