Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -34

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops