Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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