There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops