When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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a

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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A car walks into a bar.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops