How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...