Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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