Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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Chicken

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops