Tommy got neutered.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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Women's Rights.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops