Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Roses are red violet are blue i saw a machine and it was ps2

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Laugh

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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