Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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punchline below punchline above

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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