Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Women's Soccer.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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