Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dakota Fanning

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops