Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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