Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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