What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops