Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops