A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Obama

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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