Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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