Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

autsim

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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