What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Chicken

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops