OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's brown and sticky A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i lyk 2 eet pup

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops