what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Female Orgasms

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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