Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

What do you call a banana? A banana.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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