Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

your mama so old, shes dead.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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