What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

rocky is here again.......................

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops