So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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