what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Where's the soap?

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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