A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Your mom is so nice.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? You would to if your name was, AIIEEEEIUUUUHGH!

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Dyslexia ruels!

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This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops