Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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A car walks into a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops