How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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