A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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