I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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Matt is a Duster!

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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get in the car.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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