Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

Obama 2012

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

A man walks around a bar.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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