Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Kony 2012

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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whats black. an african american person

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Chikin nuggets

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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