Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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One below was by me: Walter H

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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knock knock

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops