Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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angelo snyder is not ga

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops