I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Neither have I

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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no really what are ur names?

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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