a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops