How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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Black People

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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