What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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c======3

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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minorities

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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