One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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What do you call a banana? A banana.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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Mitt Romney

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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