Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Jellybeans

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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