A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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