Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops