Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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Whats funnier than 24? Adam Sandler.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops