What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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