What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

what is orange? an orange

what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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